


Everything About You

by sleepymccoy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Jim is mentioned plenty but not present, M/M, Transporter Malfunction, spock thinks about bones for a while
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:04:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7802962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepymccoy/pseuds/sleepymccoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A minor transporter accident has Bones and Scotty squabbling about safety while Spock watches. Spock gets lost in his own thoughts, thinking about his relationship with Bones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything About You

“Hell no I ain't getting back in that thing,” Leonard exclaimed angrily, pointing wildly at the transporter. 

 

Spock watched silently while Leonard waved his arms and generally made a scene over the transporter. It had returned him yesterday with all his hair removed, and it had taken a full hour for the stim to regrow his hair to the length he preferred. Leonard had been spitting mad since then, and it had only worsened when Jim had told him that the transporter had been fixed and he was expected to return to the planet. 

Leonard’s disinclination for transporters had always been of mild interest to Spock, it did not seem to fit with a medical professional who abhorred all early medical techniques and practices, loudly and repeatedly calling them barbaric. Leonards nickname had, in one tale Jim had told him, been inspired by the set of sawbones Leonard kept in his office to remind him of the brutality he did not commit, and the brutality future generation would see him as embodying. However, the longer Spock had known Leonard, and the more intimately, the more he had come to understand his aversion to technology. True, Leonard did not desire to return to the practices of old, however he also distrusted the reliance he saw on technology. Leonard had been in enough situations where an inherent understanding of the human body, and the importance of reading symptoms while essentially blind, to recognise the need to hone that skill. He preferred to check most readings made by machines against his own judgement, trusting the back of his hand as a temperature gauge just as much as a tri corder.

 

“Doc, I promise ye, I fixed it,” Scotty said, the beg clear in his voice. Leonard simply crossed his arms and shook his head.

 

Spock had always been impressed by Leonard's passion, evident primarily in his work and beliefs, but had not been prepared for the steady, intense gaze he was treated to in private. Spock had thought Leonard an uncontrollably emotional being, but since spending hours with him alone in his quarters he had begun to learn the control Leonard exerted over himself on shift.

He had first discovered this when, shortly after they had agreed to attempt to try to date, they had a fight about something irrelevant and Leonard had held nothing back. His defense was just as hole ridden as ever, but his manner of speech was vastly more emotional and he moved around with a physicality that nearly startled Spock into losing the debate. 

Leonard stared at him in private, when Spock was simply reading or making tea. Spock had ignored it at first, but the scrutiny began to wear on him and he had asked Leonard what he was looking at. Leonard had explained himself slowly, watching Spock's reaction closely. He explained that he had to restrain himself from watching Spock on shift, had to ensure he was staying aware while on the job. He described the challenge that was certain away missions, where Spock's eyes, apparently, reflected the light in a way that was entirely entrapping. Leonard also explained that Spock simply was a foreign element in Leonard's quarters. Not due just to his Vulcan appearance, but also to the fact that Leonard had filled his quarters with items that made him comfortable, that helped him relax. Spock, apparently, was not a comfort. Leonard explained that for years working with Spock had been the most challenging part of living on the Enterprise. That Spock's presence put him on edge, made him hyper aware. He had realised only recently that this discomfort stemmed less from a dislike of the Vulcan, but alluded to an affection and respect Leonard had not allowed himself to feel. This realisation has prompted their relationship, as Leonard was clearly not well trained enough to hide his panic at having a crush on Spock.

Now, months later, when Spock asked Leonard why he stared, Leonard simply smiled and called him beautiful.

 

“Spock!” Leonard called. Spock started slightly, being pulled suddenly from his musings. “Spock, did he fix it right?”

 

“Certainly, Doctor,” Spock said. Leonard raised a concerned eyebrow, clearly reading that something was off. Spock nodded, indicating that he was fine.

 

Leonard’s eyebrows had grown back perfectly, Chapel had done them first saying he looked far more terrifying without eyebrows than he did without hair. Spock rather agreed, Leonard’s eyebrows were an important feature. He used them to convey emotion and intention most expertly.

What, precisely, was it that Spock found so worthwhile about Leonard? He had been a challenge and a source of displeasure in his life for years, constantly needling him. It had been, as it always was going to be, Jim who had made Spock aware of his warmer feelings for the doctor. They had been discussing a rather explosive disagreement between Spock and Leonard that had occurred on the bridge, and Jim had finally offered to try and stop Leonard from jumping down Spock's throat so much.

Spock had agreed heartily, despite Jim's cryptic warnings about losing what you didn't know you had. Leonard’s apology the next day had been sincere and the doctor was clearly confused over the situation, he had explained his assumption that Spock enjoyed the debates as much as he had. Spock had felt himself growing restless and antsy as the weeks passed. There were many situations where a discussion with Leonard would have assisted the ship professionally, and even more situations where Spock would have appreciated a personal debate. Spock saw Leonard biting his tongue and holding back opinions and outbursts he clearly wanted to share. It was awful.

Spock had cracked three weeks after Jim asked Leonard to back off and had chased Leonard down, cornering him in sickbay to apologise. Leonard had been entirely befuddled but, after realising what Spock was saying, he became almost unbearably smug. Leonard had proceeded to pull out an alarmingly long list of disagreements he would like to go through. 

 

“I still ain't convinced,” Leonard said after a moment. Scotty groaned dramatically.

 

Spock could remember the first time he noticed Leonard. It had, amusingly, been the man's hair that drew his attention. Spock had returned to starfleet academy during a refit of the ship he was assigned to as ensign. Leonard, he had subsequently learned, had only just arrived at starfleet that day to apply. He had come directly from a month of unresolved misery following his father's death and his own divorce. He had spent the month attempting (and failing) to drown his miseries in bourbon and had grown a truly remarkable amount of facial hair.

Spock had, of course, known none of this. All he had seen was a cadet with a beard that was dangerously close to an open flame. Spock had, of course, stepped in and politely shown the cadet the hair caps and how to apply them to facial hair, or which direction the barber could be found, should he so wish. Spock had been quite startled when the cadet had suddenly stopped sullenly agreeing and had gone quite an ugly colour and proceeded to yell at his superior for five solid minutes before Spock simply left. He had considered putting the cadet in for report, but found he had no wish to crush the spirit of one so engaging.

Spock lived to regret that when Leonard was assigned to the Enterprise with him and he had to endure many years of passion from one so illogical before, finally, falling into bed with him.

 

“What's it gonna take?” Scotty asked.

 

Spock remembered noticing that Leonard's eyelashes hadn't returned to full length last night. Leonard had left the room immediately, his fury unbridled, and returned ten minutes later with lashes that were far too long for him. Spock had not allowed it to show but he had been quite amused as Leonard's lashed got caught and tangled up in themselves until, eventually, Leonard had cracked and pulled out a small pair of scissors. At Spock's insistence he had allowed Spock to trim his lashes, rather than taking to them himself.

Spock remembered the surprising struggle to quell his concerns as Leonard flinched beneath his hands. Spock had found the situation amusing due to the harmless nature of the transporter side effect, however Leonard had been upset by it. Leonard simply wanted to find some control in his life, having been left with little after leaving his family.

Spock had found Leonard far less physical last night than normal. They had slept together, but had not touched beyond the accidental nature of sharing a bed. Leonard had spent some time sadly studying his chest hair and arm hair and Spock had felt his heart shivering in worry.

 

Leonard exaggerated his consideration of the situation. Finally, after much sighing from Scotty, he said, “It's gonna take a bottle of whisky and a logical step through  _ from Spock _ of exactly why I need to go down in the first place.”

 

Spock had spent the morning with Scotty fixing the transporter. Scotty had been pleased to receive the assistance, but had grown concerned at the focus Spock had supplied. Spock had no intention of letting Leonard suffer through another transporter incident, not if he could help it.

Jim had described what he knew of Leonard's childhood once, life on a farm, riding horses, romping in the hay stacks. Spock had to bear in mind that Jim's description of Leonard's early life was second hand information and Leonard may well have had a better childhood than he recalled, subsequent events could well have soured the memories. Leonard certainly smiled with great ease when reminded of certain elements of life on earth, which implied a level of fond recollection. 

Spock hoped that one day Leonard would describe his life in detail for him, rather than leaving Spock to pick up scraps of information where he could.

 

“Half a bottle,” Scotty cried, trying to haggle to less of a loss.

 

“Only if you're drinking the other half with me and apologising,” Leonard demanded, a smile creeping onto his face.

 

What is love? He remembered asking Jim once and enduring a lengthy description of putting the other person's needs before your own, of valuing their emotional state. Spock, however, took stock of the emotional state of the whole ship, and he was fairly confident he was not in love with everyone on the ship. He put the ship's needs ahead of his own, too. Taking extra shifts, skipping meals and sleep when perhaps it would be wiser not to. But he saw the rest of the crew doing the same, and he knew Jim and Leonard, at least, were not in love with everyone. He was reasonably sure that no one loved five hundred people in the way Spock had meant.

He had not bothered to ask anyone else for their definition, not wishing to risk the humiliation of requesting emotional information. 

He had, however, witnessed love in Leonard. Not directed at him, at least not in a way he had recognised, but directed at his daughter. Leonard spoke of Joanna rarely, but on the days he felt like discussing her one would be hard pressed to get him to talk about anything else. Leonard had hours of conversation to fill regarding his daughter, he was endlessly proud, endlessly worried, and endlessly guilty. Spock found that he enjoyed watching Leonard animatedly describing his child, he enjoyed seeing the rare light of entire happiness in his eyes, the way he bounced on the balls of his feet and alternated between moving extravagantly around the room or sitting by Spock, quietly and intimately talking.

 

“Very well,” Scotty said happily.

 

Was Spock in love, perhaps? He would sacrifice his reliable emotional training in exchange for Leonard's happiness, perhaps that was what Jim meant by putting the other's needs first. It helped to know that in no situation would Leonard want Spock to drop all his defenses. While he enjoyed getting a glimpse behind his walls and encouraged Spock to enjoy certain emotions, he appreciated the professional and personal advantages to his way of life. Or at the very least he enjoyed the quaint alien quality in him. Regardless, a smile from Spock would be far less meaningful if he gave them out to the same quantity as Jim does.

Perhaps he did love Leonard. Leonard who was currently grinning and waggling his eyebrows at Scotty in success. He deserved to know what Spock was considering, Spock resolved there and then to tell him tonight.

He is really a very remarkable human. Beautiful, intelligent, and so extreme in his choices, behaviour and beliefs.

 

“Mr. Spock,” Leonard said, turning to face him triumphantly. When Spock did not respond Leonard indicated the transporter and asked, “Do you have a show and tell to take me on?”

 

Spock could not think of what to say. He knew he needed to reply quickly or Leonard would grow concerned, and Spock did not wish to cause Leonard any heartache. Spock opened his mouth, thrusting his Vulcan brain to supply the logical words he needed. “I adore you,” he said.

 

His Vulcan brain had, apparently, failed him

 

“What?” Leonard asked sharply.

 

“Everything about you,” Spock continued, throwing caution the the winds. He had already done what damage he could and may as well tell Leonard what was weighing on him. Leonard glanced at Scotty then began to walk quickly over to Spock. “You are staggeringly perfect and I find myself… I find myself falling in love,” Spock finished in a whisper, watching Leonard draw closer, his tricorder out and ready.

 

Leonard raised a hand and rested the back of his hand on Spock's forehead. Spock nearly smiled at the fulfillment of his expectations. “Are you ok?” Leonard muttered.

 

“I believe I am fine, Leonard,” Spock said, allowing Leonard to continue scanning him, sure that no platitudes from him would calm the doctor right now. “I am however, surprised by the strength of my feelings.”

 

Leonard glanced up at him worriedly, not accustomed to Spock admitting to feelings,let alone strong ones. Leonard rested his hand on Spock's neck, feeling his pulse and glands while the tri corder whirred on. “Well, I mean,” Leonard said haltingly, whispering, “I might’ve accepted this when we were alone but, Spock, you just threw a declaration of… of love at me in front of Scotty.” Leonard blushed at his own words.

 

Spock considered this while Leonard’s eyes swung down to study the readings on his tri corder. He had certainly chosen an inappropriate time to admit his thoughts, but he had not considered it at length. Once he had a chance to explain he was sure Leonard would be tickled happy, but until then he must affirm his mental stability. “I am willing to repeat this in private if it will set your mind at ease,” Spock said.

 

“You seem fine…” Leonard said quietly, giving the tri corder a quick shake, as if that would change the results. He looked up at Spock, the blush across his cheeks growing.

 

Spock forced himself not to smile, certain that Leonard would remember this conversation well into his old age. He curled a hand behind Leonard's head, losing his fingers in his newly regrown hair and pulled the stunned doctor to him for a kiss.


End file.
